Greetings Idol Fans!

It’s Axe Time People!! Woo Hoo. Finally the chance to see all our speed dial training put to good use. I have to say, I’m very excited.

But first a cheesy reel that looks like a promo for Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, The Hills, Laguna Beach, blah blah blah. Is this a singing show or MTV teen crap?

Wait… OMG… could it be… I see Idols lining up… I hear an intro… I think it is… IT IS! IT IS!! It’s the first ensemble performance of the season!!! And Oh My God, is it terrible. Seriously it was like a clip from “When Six Flags Performances Attack.”

After the 4 minute commercial break to recover from the group performance, the guys are up first on the chopping block. We do the necessary rewind of the show highlights (although if Ryan read my blog, he wouldn’t need the reel)

Ryan makes it seem random, and calls Garrett Haley up on stage with him. He asks him a couple of questions and then WHAM!!! Axe falls. Garrett is leaving. He’s sings his song again. That was quick. No time for nice. There are commercials to be aired.

After the break it’s the ladies turn. Ryan chats with sweet little Kristy Lee Cook, but she can rest her sweet head, she’s safe. It’s Amy Davis who takes the first one for the girls. She performs her song again and proves why she’s going home.

Well, we’ve smashed the dreams of two young hopefuls so now is the perfect time to inflate the ego’s of a couple of old timers. It’s the debut of feature Randy. It’s got a beat, I can dance to it, I give it a 9. Well, I give the 10 synthesizers her vocals been filtered through a 9.

Amanda and Joanne are called to center-stage. Ryan says everyone on the couch is safe. We have to wait for the break to find out Joanne Borgella is the second lady leaving us tonight

One of the guys will be the last leaving the gang. Ryan calls Chicezie and Colton to center-stage. Ryan slips in an age dig at Simon before telling Colton that he’s the final Idol going home tonight.

So that’s week 1 and we’re down to 20. I’ve gotta throw props to the first 4 to go. That’s the toughest place to be. To get through all the crowds, fight the hundreds for attention during Hollywood week, make it up and down the elevator in one piece just to come back for one week before having your hopes dashed. The only consolation we can offer you, sweet Garrett, pretty Amy, stunning Joanne, bashful Colton… is that obscurity will come swift, painless and easy. Last one out, shut the lights off when you go.

Peace, Love and Video Debuts,
Kristi

Greetings Idol Fans!

We made it! After hours and hours of delusional auditions, Coke product placements and trailers for “Jumper,” the Auditions are finally over. It’s Top 24, and time for you and I to control the fates of 24 Idol hopefuls. Over the next 3 weeks, we get to decide which 12 dreams are one step closer to realization and which 6 guys and 6 girls dreams are over. It’s good to be the judge.

Seacrest Fashion Fix: I don’t know about you, but GEE do I miss Ryan’s Highlights. Boring brown just doesn’t cut it. Beside, I don’t have anything to make fun of.

Speaking of Ryan, he AGAIN, reminds us this is the Best Talent Ever. I guess they just want us to realize that there’s no chance of a Sanjaya incident this year.

Tonight it’s guys up first with 60’s night. What a great choice. This is the first night these kids are going to be live on TV and you make them sing songs that were recorded at least 25 years before they were even born!?!?!!?

Apple finally got their hands on the Idol machine, you can download tonights performances on iTunes for 99 cents a pop.

David Hernandez

Gives us a sappy story about being raised by a single parent, and how singing is his escape. He starts the show with “Midnight Hour.” He had me at first with the slow and gospelly opening but then lost me when he jazzed it up.

Chikezie

In preparation for anticipated stardom, he dropped his last name. Looking like a dapper 70’s velveteen pumpkin pimp, he croons away on ” I Love You More.” He seems nervous at first, but works out the kinks. Simon calls him Jacuzzi which I think is hilarious.

David Cook

The dude got a really bad hair cut, but it’s all to hide a really bad receding hairline. He starts “Happy Together” out kind of creepy and stalker-ish, but by the end he screams his way to a decent rock version.

Jason Yeager

Is it me or is he the victim of a drive by dye job on his bangs? What’s with the one blonde piece? Anyhoo, he chooses a slow song… “Moon River.” It’s so “Performances nightly at Mohegan Sun.” Seriously, if he keeps this up, he’ll be the Idol of many a Senior Center.

Robbie Carrico

Former boy-bander who wants to leave his soul on stage for the audience to see…as long as all they see is rock star. So he goes with the Three Dog Night song “One.” He does his best Daughtry impression and Randy and Paula buy it. Simon is still not sure if there’s a Justin Timberlake lurking somewhere under all that hair and scruff.

David Archuleta

The bashful, unassuming former StarSearch contestant gives stardom another try with “Shop Around.” I feel like I’m watching a recital at a performing arts high school. The judges the love him, but I think either the producers told them to love it or they didn’t want to say anything negative to make the poor boy cry.

Danny Noriega

The little mop-topped pixie in his Old Navy skinny jeans takes on the King and “Jailhouse Rock.” Paula says he has many colors to his voice, but quite frankly, I think it’s more like if a rainbow threw up. It was a bad Chelsea Karaoke performance. But I think I said that more than a few times about Sanjaya and look how that turned out. Dang it….

Luke Menard

Carpet Cleaner who looks like a cross between Luke Perry and Orlando Bloom. He whimpers out a rendition of “Everybody’s Talkin.” Unfortunately, I think nerves got the best of him and no one will be talking about him after this week.

Colton Berry

Self-proclaimed Ellen DeGeneres look-alike. Another teenie bopper who takes on the King with “Suspicious Minds.” I don’t think he’s even old enough to know what this song is about. Does anyone know if Disney is casting for High School Musical 4 yet?

Garrett Haley

The little guy with the big 70’s hair. He’s got the art of mousse down, but someone needs to show the lad how to shave. What’s with the peach fuzz ’stache? He attempts to be soulful on Neil Sedaka’s “Breakin’ Up Is Hard To Do.” Unfortunately shaving isn’t the only grown up thing the tyke needs to learn. His performance is a little empty.

Jason Castro

The blue eyed, dread-head is the first Idol this season to bring his guitar on stage for his rendition of “Daydream.” He’s jovial, entertaining and fun. The only thing we’re missing is a hacky sack and a skate park.

Michael Johns

Aussie singer who used to be in a band until he left and stole their songs, uh so he’s a nice guy. Anyway, enough about that… (but you can see more here.) He channels the late great Jim Morrison on “Light My Fire” including cheezy flame graphic background. It’s good, it’s rockin’, it’s enough to get him through.

So I know you’re all dying to know who my picks are for who’s going home. I think Jason Yeager and Luke Menard maybe calling Continental for plane tickets home this week. I think they will both be the victims of not enough airtime during Hollywood week and pretty weak performance tonight. I could be wrong, but I’ll bet anything they’ll be in the bottom on Thursday.

Anyhoo, tomorrow night the ladies take center stage in hopes of winning your love. Tune in then!

Peace, Love and Grooviness,
Kristi

PS: Learn more about all 24 Idols here: www.americanidol.com/contestants/season7/

Greetings Idol Fans!

Did you know that this is the most talented American Idol season yet? I don’t know how anyone could have missed it since Ryan told us 7534 times tonight. Seriously, he said it so many times, if you made a shot game out of it, you’d be tanked by the first commercial break.

Idol Fashion Fix: Shoe comment — Did anyone else notice the 1 1/2 inch heels Simon was sporting on his boots? Can we say inadequacies? I bet he drives a really big Hummer too.

Anyway, they changed format this year. Gone are the painful 3 and 4 member singing/late night bickering teams of yesteryear. This year it’s every Idol for themselves. The first two days, all the hopefuls get a shot to impress the judges without the worry of a cut. The ones who wow the baby Gap t-shirts off Simon and the other 2 get a free pass right through to the final rounds. The others must sing a capella for their musical lives for on Day 3, the guillotine starts it ugly morbid descent. The final 50 who have managed to avoid the proverbial axe, have one more shot with the judges.

Here are the MOST TALENTED 24:

Oh wait…. we have to wait until tomorrow night for that.

Peace, Love & Perfect Pitch,
Kristi