Today on “Ellen,” Daughtry will perform “Home” with the African Childrens Choir. He’s on to promoto Idol Gives Back, and the “One” organization. Check it out, in your local listings.

According to Access Hollywood, Ellen Degeneres has backed out of hosting the the charity event, Idol Gives Back. Ellen supposedly had to back out due to production scheduling conflicts that would interfere with the show.

The show, scheduled to tape on Sunday, April 6th, will include celebrities Bono, Brad Pitt, Mariah Carey, Eli and Peyton Manning, Fergie, Annie Lennox, Heart, Robin Williams, Idol favorites Chris Daughtry and Carrie Underwood and many more.

You can read more of the story here or check out Idol Gives Back for more information.

Greeting Idol Fans!

I could go into a big long fancy, witty intro paragraph, but since Ryan wasted no time with intros, neither shall I.

So without further adieu, the kids launch right into the Group song. OH we all knew it was coming. we knew it weeks ago when they announced Dolly Parton was scheduled to appear. You hear it in your head… that lone piano note…

dum dum dum dum dumdum dum dum….EVERYBODY TOGETHER!

“WORKING 9 to 5! What a way to make a livin!”

Oh yeah, you know you’re singing along. I’m actually surprised they didn’t bust out a sappy version of “Islands In the Stream” But come to think of it… I think that was done a couple of season ago and with equally hokie results.
On with the results. Ryan recaps the performance. I still think we’re funnier here at IdolBlather. But that’s neither here nor there. Ryan then begins the cattle call.

Michael Johns - You’re the first to the stage in your snazzy Dolly t-shirt and the first to be safe.

David Archuletta - Little dude, America is taken by your garden gnome good looks and LiteFM vocal stylings. You’re safe again.

Carly Smithson- Simon hates your fashion sense but it seems like enough fans love your voice. You and your skin tight jeans can head over to the couch.

Well, I’m beginning to develop a fear the first commercial break of the show. Would it be Ad-aphobia? Commerciaphobia? Whatever it’s called, it always seems to bring the dreaded Q&A time on Idol. I tend to zone out here or get up to get a drink (even with DVR) so I luckily miss the banter crap.

So I’m rehydrated from my Snapple and it’s time for a musical interlude. The Clark Brothers won American Greatest Band. I have absolutely NO idea why. They were like a dreadful morph of Ricky Skaggs and Fuel. Who knew you could “rock out” on a Mandolin?

They say bad things happen in threes. OK so we had the Q&A crap… the Clark Brothers… so that only leaves the Ford Commercial. Yep there it is. Must.. fight… urge… to buy… an Edge…

Back to the results.

David Cook - you had some trouble with your BP, but seems like America’s heart still beats for you. You’re Safe.

Ramiele Mulabay - You sweet little lychee, you got excited because you actually walked and sang at the same time last night… stellar. There’s no singing tonight, but you are walking over to the Bottom 3.

Kristy Lee Cook - Oh my gawd are you psychic? It’s like you knew you were going to be heading to the bedpan stools. Kristy, you are soooooo Bottom 3. YAY!! I got to say it. All is right with the world again.

After the break, we take an unexplainable trip to Nashville. We catch up with some former Idol stars…Bucky….Phil Stacey and Bo. Ryan mentioned something about seeing them again soon but I have no idea why.

Syesha Mercado - Given that there’s still 2 Idols left back stage, your odds of safety are pretty good. And they are indeed.

Brooke White and Jason Castro are the last 2 and….. the last Idol Kid in the Bottom 3 is Jas—- BROOKE!?!!? OK I am soooo not hearing what the whackados that voting hear. She’s been the Idol sweetheart for weeks and now she get a low number of votes? Wow America turns so quickly.

Well we have like 10 minutes left of prime time ad space so we won’t rip the band-aid off just yet Ramiele, Kristy and Brooke. You sit back and wallow in your Bottom 3-ness while we take another video trip into Idol Gives Back.

After IGB (Yes, I actually gave it an acronym,) the one and only Dolly Parton takes the stage to sing her new song “Jesus and Gravity” from her album. I know she’s a living legend and all, but holy crap is this bad. I’m all about shooting props to the 60 year old still performing, but maybe she ought to stick to the stuff she knows and is known for.Ok so it’s the final axe time. Brooke is already a ball of sob and rambles on about pouring souls into the show, and Idol Gives Back and how Dolly sang about Jesus and wah wah wah. Cripes. Ryan mercifully send her back to the couch of safety before she too full of snot.

And finally, probably less out of mercy and more out of the fact they were running out of time, Ryan delivers the news quickly, that Ramiele will be the one leaving us tonight.

So goodbye Tiny Malubay. You showed us that a giant voice could come from a little package. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to capture a giant piece of America’s heart. Well that, and you weren’t an plant. So good luck Ramiele. I know you will indeed cross my and thousands of fans minds, if even for a brief moment, each time we pour soy sauce on our tempura.

Peace, Love & really big… Hits,
Kristi

Claudette Yamin, mother of American Idol Season 5 contestant, Elliott Yamin passed away overnight of undisclosed causes. She was 65.  Full Story at MSNBC.

IdolBlather send it’s condolences to Elliott and the Yamin family.

Several news agencies have confirmed that David Cook was sent to the hospital after last nights performance show of American Idol. Cook, who received rave reviews for his cover of Dolly Parton’s “Little Sparrow” was suffering from heart palpitations and high blood pressure before the show began. He chose not to seek treatment until after the show was finished. Idol insiders have speculated that the palpitations are simply a result of Idol stress and potentially some bad news David received about his brother who is battling cancer. He was later released and is now resting at the hotel with the rest of the Idol kids.

You can read more about it at E! Online.

IdolBlather wishes the rocker dude good health!!

Greetings Idol Fans!

Unfortunately due to copyright infringement issues, there will be no IdolBlather recap this week….
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APRIL FOOLS!!!!!  Hey if Ryan can do it why can’t I?? 

ON TO THE SHOW!

Tonight’s Idol mentor is Dolly Parton.  The buxom “Backwoods Barbie” gives the kids lots of encouragement and lifetime passes to Dollywood.  Yee Haw Everybody.
Brooke

Our resident folk girl sings”Jolene” about a girl begging another not to take her man.  It wasn’t the best, but I think it was enough for Brooke to keep the man and her fans. I just have one fashion comment for her… Please please please, eat a sandwich!  She looked so thin I think the buttons on her pants were hanging on to her hip bones for dear life!

David C

Ooo, they did his hair better this week!  I think there might be some extensions in there.  It actually looks thicker.  Speaking of thick, he lays the rocker thing on thick for his cover of”Little Sparrow” with acoustic guitar.  Who knew you could take the twang out of Dolly’s hillbilly best?  He rocked it yet again this week.  I think the new ‘do is helping his “IT” quotient.

Ramiele

The tiny little pixie doll  attempts “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind” and shows how completely out of her element she is with the Dolly classic.  She kept it country but unfortunately also kept it Karaoke.  Definitely not going to be crossing anyone’s mind in the votes. I think you can tell the pressure of keeping up with the semi-pros is taking it’s toll.

Jason

The Rasta boy has a stalker chick in Colorado who sends multiple postcards at once.  Sweet.  With his rendition of “Traveling  Man” he yet again reminds me of a hacky sacks, hemp beads and bong water.  But at least this week, he picks up the tempo and the performance.

Carly

Ye Irish Lass  covers “Here You Come Again”  sans the 80’s pop country back beat and place in LiteFM playlist history.  She slows it down to a soulful pace and proves why she had a record deal  in the first place. Oh that’s right,no wonder she sounds so pro… she already was. But I’m not bitter…:D

David A

The baby hobbit covers “Smokey Mountain Miracles.”  OK honestly, does kid know at least ONE up-tempo song?  He is so sappy that if you stuck a tube up his butt, you’d get Maple Syrup.

Kristy

Could she having stepped in it any more?  Country week with Dolly Parton… this girl should be thanking the Idol Gods… or Idol Idols?  Either way, the whole freakin’ song was in her lower register and completely lacked personality and then she suddenly shoves the ending up into her “Big Finish.” The whole thing totally felt disconnected.  She needs to find her shoes and go home to the horse farm.

Syesha

As the only representative of R&B she of course had to pick “I Will Always Love You” by Dolly come Whitney.   Did anyone else get annoyed with the “propped up on the piano, staring into the camera” incessantly crap?  She does her best and shows off her pipes, but unfortunately the comparison to the original might be too much to overcome.

Michael

Ok the dude is wearing an ascot… or in his case, could it be an as(s)cot?  Hee Hee.  He goes all Joe Cocker gospel on “It’s All Wrong, But It’s Alright” and made us all say Amen.  He can leave his hat on.. he’s getting through another week with that.

So that’s our Top 9.  So which Idols will America always love, and who will be saying goodbye to stardom and back to 9 to 5?

Tune in tomorrow to find out!

Peace, Love and Pickin’,
Kristi

Greetings Idol Fans!

We’ve come to another night of everything we love best about Idol — cheezy commercials, stupid “Get To Know Me” reels with idols, Simon’s chest hair and dashing the dreams of another Idol dreamer.

Just in case any of you Blather readers are budding “Ar-teests” American Idol Songwriters challenge is back this year. There has to be someone out there that can write a better song than that slop “This Is My Now” from last season. “This is My Now and this is my covering my ears.

Hey everybody! It’s Top 10 Ensemble time! <Feign Excitement Here> The kids do their best high school musical moves on “Right Back To Where We Started From.” It reminds me of those traveling shows that used to come to my grade school. Not much value, but a great way to get out of Social Studies.

After the break, Ryan introduces a video just to pimp the whole iTunes thing again. THe video takes us on a deep and (un)interesting look at the kids recording their songs and hocking iPods, Apple computers and iPhones, oh my.

Ok so Ryan does the regular recap of the night’s performances which is by far not as funny as mine, but whatever. He then brings out each Idolette one by one to face the votes.

Chikezie - You went R&B last night but it wasn’t Vandrossy enough…you’re going to the stools.. You’re Bottom 3.

Brooke - You were the perfect dichotomy of sweet innocent folk singer girl and psycho stalker. Your legions of stalkers kept you in another week.

Carly - You have a fondness for ugly tight jeans and evidently for Spanx. America is still fond of you, you’re safe.

Time to break for the Ford Commercial! Nifty little vid for “I Want You To Want Me” I want Ford to stop wanting these damned time wasters. I’ve been watching these things for 7 years and I still don’t want a Focus.

Back to the show!

David A - If we put you in gray shorts and knee socks, you’d look like Eddie Munster. Right now, you look like someone in the Top 9.

David C - You smug, balding so-and-so. Well keep being smug, America loves you and your Chris Cornell boost.

Syesha - You blasted the rafters with “If I were Your Woman” but evidently the fans aren’t sure about you as their woman. You are Bottom 3.

Michael - Being the selfish and egotistical bastard you are, you just had to sing 2 songs in one night. Well American loved both of them, you’re safe.

After the break, it’s that damned questions from the viewers segment again. Honestly, I purposely stay away from the 15 years in the mall, why must I be subjected their prepubescent inquiries?

Kimberly Locke is up after the break. We learn a little bit about the former Idol star. Like every good singing artist she focuses her talents on a restaurant. Justin did it, Britney did it, JLo did it so obviously pop stars are great culinary talents too. Well who ever she’s got cooking for her, it’s working. She looks great and sounds amazing on her new single, “Fall” in stores (and on the IdolBlather Music Store) now.

More results!

Ramiele - You sort of look like a Bratz Doll hooker tonight but it doesn’t matter, the country still loves you.

Jason and Kristy - You’re the last two Idols to head center-stage. Jason, you did your folk singer thang and batted those 2 big baby blues. Kristy, you went all Miss Teen Patriotic American Pageant with your karaoke cover. The last in our Bottom 3 is… Jason??

WHAT!?!??!?!!!!?!? I’m sorry does that Kristy girl have a pocket full of Get Out Of Jail Free cards or just a really good agent with deep pockets? How does she avoid the Bottom 3 with THAT performance. Idol gives me no joy if I can’t utter the phrase “Kristy, you are sooooo Bottom 3!” Cripes.

So our Bottom 3 this week are, to the amazement of yours truly, Chikezie, Syesha and Jason. Ryan quickly interviews Jason about being in the Bottom 3 and then quickly cuts the dread-locked toker when he starts to ramble by sending him back to the couch safe another week.

Unfortunately, Chikezie couldn’t win the love of enough fans to stick around another week… he’s going home.

Oh dear Chikezie Eze; you dropped your last name in hopes of achieving the success of many of the one named stars out there, Cher, Madonna, Seal, Sting and Weird Al (I know that’s 2 words, but the first is an adjective and doesn’t count) Anyhoo, fear not young Eze, with your talent, and Ryan’s Man Love, you’re bound to go far in Hollywood. And if not, I’m sure there’s always room for a country/R&B brother in Branson. Cowboy Troy, move over!

Peace, Love & Adoring Fans,
Kristi

Greetings Idol Fans!

We said farewell to Amanda last week leaving her to clean out bedpans again and us with our Top 10. Yep these kids will be coming soon to an arena near you.

Tonights theme is the year they were born. What a theme.. that’s basically like saying here’s a years worth of music, 1000’s of songs, and pick one. Oooo what a challenge! <insert Eye Roll here>

Ramiele was born in 1987. Ugh, I have a “RELAX” t-shirt older than her. She sings “Alone ” by Heart. Yeah the same song Carly rocked it out on in the semis. Ramiele’s been accused of not having much stage personality. I think she’s mistaken screaming for having stage presence. She’s got a big voice, but she’s got to learn to control it.

Jason was born in 1987 too and today is his birthday. I think he has dreads older than my “RELAX” t-shirt. He does his reliable “Guy, Guitar” routine on “Fragile” by Sting which is nice, but pretty safe. We get the Venice Beach homeless thing, it’s time to move on.

Syesha rounds out the trifecta of Idolettes born in 1987. She takes on “If I Were Your Woman” made famous by Gladys Knight and remade by Stephanie Mills. Her awesome girl fro is back and so is her voice. She rocked it.

Chikezie makes me feel less old by being born in 1985. Finally, he embraces his inner Vandross on “If Only For One Night.” Unfortunately the judges weren’t embracing his performance. But I think that’s just because they had to save their love for the other brats they’re pimping out.

Brooke was born in 1983 practically with a piano in her hand. Thankfully for her mom , she wasn’t but thankfully for us, she picked it up soon after. She tries to take the stalker out of “Every Breath You Take” and is good enough to probably get a few of her own.

Michael was born in 1978 and holds the honor of being the ONLY Idol hopeful born in different decade. He does a combo of “We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions” by Queen. He’s not happy singing one song, so he has to butcher two Queen songs. The judges love it. I can only believe that Paula slipped Randy and Simon some of her happy pills and they ended up temporarily deaf.

Carly takes on the hit “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” from her birth year of 1983. She comes out in a Star Trek inspired mini dress looking a bit apprehensive. The song was OK, but then she did this weird screaming run at the end with a move that looked like she popped a squat right on stage. It was just awkward.

David A again makes me realize my fleeting youth by letting us know he was just born last decade in 1990. Somebody pass me the anti-wrinkle eye cream and the Geritol. Good Lord, he’s going all socially conscious again on “You’re The Voice” by John Farnham. The way all the tweenies are screaming I think he might be the 4th Jonas Brother.

Kristy was born in 1984. The book says its the year supposedly of Big Brother, totalitarianism and torture. Speaking of torture, she sings “God Bless The USA” By Lee Greenwood. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Is she auditioning for the Democratic or Republican conventions this year? There is video on YouTube of her singing this song at some bad convention in a bad silver sequined pageant dress. Wanna see? Dude, I’m all “Go USA” too but this is so lame, it might border on treason.

David C, born in 1982, is the 2nd eldest of the Idol Kids. I can’t really say David covers “Billy Jean” by Michael Jackson because there’s really no resemblance to the original song. He basically goes all Emo all over Billy Jeans ass. He takes it down to an dark, gritty rock club and blows the crap out of it. I will continue to make fun of his big head and/or a receding hair line to the very end, but I have to give him props. This guy is a star.

The big talents really stepped up tonight and the talentless proved it again. My picks for Bottom 3 this week are Kristy (DUH!) Chikezie and Carly. And God willing (taking time from blessing the USA of course) Kristy will leave us tomorrow night!

Tune in tomorrow, Idol Fans when we dash the hopes of our next Idol loser!

Peace, Love & Good Song Choice,
Kristi

Greetings Idol Fans!

We’re back from last week’s crushing elimination and ready to go for this week.

Ever diligent in it’s commercial debauchery, the Idol machine is milking this Fab Four Thing as much as possible. Idol brings back the Beatles songs for another week. Oh wait it’s different this week… someone might actually sing a George Harrison or even <GASP!> a Ringo Star composition. Yeah right. It’s no surprise, really. Apple and the Beatles Apple Corp just kissed and made up earlier last year so Apple needs Idol to spread the love.

We’ll get to know the Idol kids a bit more tonight as they share their “most memorable moments” of the competition so far, which is a little stupid given that this is only week 2 of being part the big show. So my guess is most of them will say, Week 1 was the most memorable just because the point of reference isn’t that vast.

Amanda

She again rocks the Idol dome with “Back In The USSR.” You know, you really can’t understand what she’s saying when she’s singing. She sort of reminds me of that “Ma Na Ma Na” guy from the Muppets. You know, this guy. (Try to get that out of your head now….)

Anyhoo….

Kristy

Luckily she ditched the paper shredder duds and the ‘Dolly Parton on speed and a Red Bull’ country twang on “Don’t Hide Your Love Away.” She’s, at best, a county pageant singer. She doesn’t seem to have enough talent to carry a note and any expression on her face at the same time. Simon called her musical wallpaper. She tells Simon that “You know I can blow your socks off” Well I’m sure she blows, but it ain’t socks.

David A

The wee lad takes on the Beatles during their “Lite FM” phase with his cover of “The Long And Winding Road.” He remembers all his words this time and pulls it off practically flawless. However, I’m sooooo over this unassuming thing he’s doing. After every song he acts so overcome when the tweeners Idol paid in the front rows scream incessantly. He’s so unassuming that it’s become assuming.

Michael

Michael actually wore a tie this evening for his cover of “A Day In The Life.” Again, I don’t have much to say about his performance but I would like to note that he ripped off Jim Morrison’s moves again. Anyway, Paula rambles on about ear monitors and connecting with the audience The problem is… Michael’s not wearing one so what’s her reasoning now? Uh, what exactly is in Paula’s Coke Cup?

Brooke

The hippie girl everyone loves is dressed like a big happy lemon yellow sunshine and takes on “Here Comes The Sun.” It’s a bit weird, and just doesn’t seem to fit her. But coming off of last week stellar performance, it was bound to happen. I’m not sure if it was the poufy lemon chiffon dress, her sunny yellow locks or her big “Shiny Happy People” grin, but she made me really feel like I needed a couple Zoloft just to keep up my fake smile.

David C

Ok this guy is so pulling a “Daughtry” again this week. He chose “Day Tripper” as his song, but does the White Snake version of the Beatles classic so he can keep up his rocker facade. Guess I can’t knock it… it took Daughtry to a #1 selling album. Ok that’s all well and good, but Dude, did we need the Peter Frampton Talk Box solo? That has a place in the Sounds of the 70’s Time Life classics and Geico commercials, but not on Idol, man.

Carly

She takes the stage in a Carmen Miranda inspired first trimester hiding tunic with ugly rosettes all over the place. It’s a good cover of “Blackbird” sans the corny explanation of why she sang it. But like a half-slip on an old lady, her professional grooming is really showing.

Jason

The dread crowned one becomes “Le gentilhomme de Sac de Hackie” (the Hackie Sack gentleman) on “Michele” complete with French and English lyrics. Does anyone else notice that he never seems to quite finish his words? I’m not sure if it’s too much pot or if the dreads weigh him down, but he’s a bit of a lazy singer.

Syesha

Man, I didn’t even recognize her with the straight ‘do! She’s looking good with the smooth locks and the Wonder Bra induced girls. She goes all soulful on “Yesterday” and finally shows what her voice can do.

Chikezie

He takes “I’ve Just Seen a Face” into a odd R&B/country vibe and even whips out a harmonica mid song. Did he learn nothing from the Kristy Lee Cook fiasco last week? Can’t he just embrace his Luther Vandross-ness and give up on the Billy Ray Cyrus?

Ramiele

The tiny one, afraid of boring the judges for a 2nd week, covers the uptempo “I Should Have Known Better.” You would have thought she’d known better and chose a better song. She was pretty sucky until about the last 8 bars when she could belt out some big notes. You know, for such a short person, you’d think she be more in touch with her lower register.

And that’s the Top 11! My picks for “Bottom 3″ this week are Kristy, Amanda and Ramiele with Kristy take the bus ride home. So which little Idol Darling do you think will be saying “Hello Goodbye” to the Idol stage and which will be “Glad All Over” to make up the Top 10 and come to an arena near you this summer?

Tune in tomorrow night for the results!

Peace, Love and All Together Now,

Kristi

Greetings Idol Fans!

Being the omnipotent commerical whore that it is, Idol rents out about 30 seconds for a Horton skit in the intro and 2 minutes for some Jim Carey in an elephant suit antics.

OMG HERE IT COMES! They’re lining up…it’s the Top 12 Ensemble performance!! <insert Woo Hoo here> They Six Flags all over some Beatles songs. This is so lame people. I mean Paul is already going through a pretty nasty divorce and having half of his $ 1billion dollar ass handed to him, do we really need to spit in his Earl Grey? Help, I Need Somebody to end this group song.

Sanjaya’s in the audience tonight…guess they needed to bring the talent quotient down about 10 points.

After the break and the mandatory recap, Ryan draws the attention to the kids on the Idol couches awaiting their fates.

Carly, Michael, Jason and Syesha stand up on the back row and one by one he sits them down. Except Syesha. Girl you’re fabulous in your Ford commericals but tonight… you are so “Bottom 3″

(IdolBlather would like to take a moment to welcome back the infamous phrase “Bottom 3.” I am now in my 7 year of petitioning Merriam Webster to recognize it as a legitmate adjective. As in”Girl, you are so “bottom 3.” KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE!)

It wouldn’t be the Idol without it. It probably would be a better Idol without it, but alas, it keeps the show free. Yep, it’s the Ford Commercial and yep, it’s bad.

Before the results, we run a reel of the Idol kids at the “Horton Hears A Who” movie premiere. Yeah, another plug. I know there’s Seuss rhyme in there somewhere.

I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like the Idol Kid Jams. I do not like all the shameless plugs and promos and ads, those network slugs! My Idol should be fun and as for commercials, be only be a few. Instead I’m bombarded with Horton Hears A Who!

Chikezie, Amanda, Kristy and David C are next to stand. Ryan shows Chikezie some more man love and sits him down. Amanda and David are the next to the safety of another week. Kristy is not so lucky and neither are we, because we have to hear her Hee Haw on acid cover of 8 Days Of Week again. Yep, she is SOOOOOO “Bottom 3.”

After the break and a chance to recover from Grand Ole Awful, Idol tries something new to waste more primetime. Ryan takes phone questions from viewers for the Idolettes and Judges. It’s about all I could have hoped for… which is a waste of about 3 minutes of my life. I now realize why I love the fast forward button on my DVR so much.

Time for a musical interlude… starring former Idol star Katherine McPhee. She takes the stage in a dress that I can only describe as a Mariah Carey School for Call Girls uniform. Spitzer would pay good money for her, so I guess it works. She saps all over “Something In The Way She(He) Moves” with David Foster who looks like a angry drunken wedding piano player.

There’s another plug for Horton Hears a Who again, and a self indulgent moment for Jim Carey. I need to call Dr Seuss and see what rhymes with blatant self promotion.

Ryan calls David A, Brooke, David H and Ramiele to centerstage. He starts with the little guy and sends David A and then Brooke back to the couch. Davide H and Ramiele are left hanging for another 30 seconds before Ryan sends Ramiele back to the couch. David H is the first guy to be so “Bottom 3.”

After David’s song and a opportune commercial break, we send one of the losers, uh I mean contestants back to the couch and safety of another week of America’s love. Syesha can breath again, she’s safe. David and Kristy are left and Ryan hands David his walking papers.

So farewell fair David. Idol just wasn’t your thing. You once had dreams of being the King of Idol, unfortunately America just saw you as a Queen of Denial. Ah but fear not my young ‘mo, who knows, one day I bet you’ll be a best Cher impersonator this side of Lucky Changs.

Peace, Love and You Know What I Mean,

Kristi