Greetings Idol Fans!

We’re back from last week’s crushing elimination and ready to go for this week.

Ever diligent in it’s commercial debauchery, the Idol machine is milking this Fab Four Thing as much as possible. Idol brings back the Beatles songs for another week. Oh wait it’s different this week… someone might actually sing a George Harrison or even <GASP!> a Ringo Star composition. Yeah right. It’s no surprise, really. Apple and the Beatles Apple Corp just kissed and made up earlier last year so Apple needs Idol to spread the love.

We’ll get to know the Idol kids a bit more tonight as they share their “most memorable moments” of the competition so far, which is a little stupid given that this is only week 2 of being part the big show. So my guess is most of them will say, Week 1 was the most memorable just because the point of reference isn’t that vast.

Amanda

She again rocks the Idol dome with “Back In The USSR.” You know, you really can’t understand what she’s saying when she’s singing. She sort of reminds me of that “Ma Na Ma Na” guy from the Muppets. You know, this guy. (Try to get that out of your head now….)

Anyhoo….

Kristy

Luckily she ditched the paper shredder duds and the ‘Dolly Parton on speed and a Red Bull’ country twang on “Don’t Hide Your Love Away.” She’s, at best, a county pageant singer. She doesn’t seem to have enough talent to carry a note and any expression on her face at the same time. Simon called her musical wallpaper. She tells Simon that “You know I can blow your socks off” Well I’m sure she blows, but it ain’t socks.

David A

The wee lad takes on the Beatles during their “Lite FM” phase with his cover of “The Long And Winding Road.” He remembers all his words this time and pulls it off practically flawless. However, I’m sooooo over this unassuming thing he’s doing. After every song he acts so overcome when the tweeners Idol paid in the front rows scream incessantly. He’s so unassuming that it’s become assuming.

Michael

Michael actually wore a tie this evening for his cover of “A Day In The Life.” Again, I don’t have much to say about his performance but I would like to note that he ripped off Jim Morrison’s moves again. Anyway, Paula rambles on about ear monitors and connecting with the audience The problem is… Michael’s not wearing one so what’s her reasoning now? Uh, what exactly is in Paula’s Coke Cup?

Brooke

The hippie girl everyone loves is dressed like a big happy lemon yellow sunshine and takes on “Here Comes The Sun.” It’s a bit weird, and just doesn’t seem to fit her. But coming off of last week stellar performance, it was bound to happen. I’m not sure if it was the poufy lemon chiffon dress, her sunny yellow locks or her big “Shiny Happy People” grin, but she made me really feel like I needed a couple Zoloft just to keep up my fake smile.

David C

Ok this guy is so pulling a “Daughtry” again this week. He chose “Day Tripper” as his song, but does the White Snake version of the Beatles classic so he can keep up his rocker facade. Guess I can’t knock it… it took Daughtry to a #1 selling album. Ok that’s all well and good, but Dude, did we need the Peter Frampton Talk Box solo? That has a place in the Sounds of the 70’s Time Life classics and Geico commercials, but not on Idol, man.

Carly

She takes the stage in a Carmen Miranda inspired first trimester hiding tunic with ugly rosettes all over the place. It’s a good cover of “Blackbird” sans the corny explanation of why she sang it. But like a half-slip on an old lady, her professional grooming is really showing.

Jason

The dread crowned one becomes “Le gentilhomme de Sac de Hackie” (the Hackie Sack gentleman) on “Michele” complete with French and English lyrics. Does anyone else notice that he never seems to quite finish his words? I’m not sure if it’s too much pot or if the dreads weigh him down, but he’s a bit of a lazy singer.

Syesha

Man, I didn’t even recognize her with the straight ‘do! She’s looking good with the smooth locks and the Wonder Bra induced girls. She goes all soulful on “Yesterday” and finally shows what her voice can do.

Chikezie

He takes “I’ve Just Seen a Face” into a odd R&B/country vibe and even whips out a harmonica mid song. Did he learn nothing from the Kristy Lee Cook fiasco last week? Can’t he just embrace his Luther Vandross-ness and give up on the Billy Ray Cyrus?

Ramiele

The tiny one, afraid of boring the judges for a 2nd week, covers the uptempo “I Should Have Known Better.” You would have thought she’d known better and chose a better song. She was pretty sucky until about the last 8 bars when she could belt out some big notes. You know, for such a short person, you’d think she be more in touch with her lower register.

And that’s the Top 11! My picks for “Bottom 3″ this week are Kristy, Amanda and Ramiele with Kristy take the bus ride home. So which little Idol Darling do you think will be saying “Hello Goodbye” to the Idol stage and which will be “Glad All Over” to make up the Top 10 and come to an arena near you this summer?

Tune in tomorrow night for the results!

Peace, Love and All Together Now,

Kristi

Greetings Idol Fans!

Being the omnipotent commerical whore that it is, Idol rents out about 30 seconds for a Horton skit in the intro and 2 minutes for some Jim Carey in an elephant suit antics.

OMG HERE IT COMES! They’re lining up…it’s the Top 12 Ensemble performance!! <insert Woo Hoo here> They Six Flags all over some Beatles songs. This is so lame people. I mean Paul is already going through a pretty nasty divorce and having half of his $ 1billion dollar ass handed to him, do we really need to spit in his Earl Grey? Help, I Need Somebody to end this group song.

Sanjaya’s in the audience tonight…guess they needed to bring the talent quotient down about 10 points.

After the break and the mandatory recap, Ryan draws the attention to the kids on the Idol couches awaiting their fates.

Carly, Michael, Jason and Syesha stand up on the back row and one by one he sits them down. Except Syesha. Girl you’re fabulous in your Ford commericals but tonight… you are so “Bottom 3″

(IdolBlather would like to take a moment to welcome back the infamous phrase “Bottom 3.” I am now in my 7 year of petitioning Merriam Webster to recognize it as a legitmate adjective. As in”Girl, you are so “bottom 3.” KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE!)

It wouldn’t be the Idol without it. It probably would be a better Idol without it, but alas, it keeps the show free. Yep, it’s the Ford Commercial and yep, it’s bad.

Before the results, we run a reel of the Idol kids at the “Horton Hears A Who” movie premiere. Yeah, another plug. I know there’s Seuss rhyme in there somewhere.

I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like the Idol Kid Jams. I do not like all the shameless plugs and promos and ads, those network slugs! My Idol should be fun and as for commercials, be only be a few. Instead I’m bombarded with Horton Hears A Who!

Chikezie, Amanda, Kristy and David C are next to stand. Ryan shows Chikezie some more man love and sits him down. Amanda and David are the next to the safety of another week. Kristy is not so lucky and neither are we, because we have to hear her Hee Haw on acid cover of 8 Days Of Week again. Yep, she is SOOOOOO “Bottom 3.”

After the break and a chance to recover from Grand Ole Awful, Idol tries something new to waste more primetime. Ryan takes phone questions from viewers for the Idolettes and Judges. It’s about all I could have hoped for… which is a waste of about 3 minutes of my life. I now realize why I love the fast forward button on my DVR so much.

Time for a musical interlude… starring former Idol star Katherine McPhee. She takes the stage in a dress that I can only describe as a Mariah Carey School for Call Girls uniform. Spitzer would pay good money for her, so I guess it works. She saps all over “Something In The Way She(He) Moves” with David Foster who looks like a angry drunken wedding piano player.

There’s another plug for Horton Hears a Who again, and a self indulgent moment for Jim Carey. I need to call Dr Seuss and see what rhymes with blatant self promotion.

Ryan calls David A, Brooke, David H and Ramiele to centerstage. He starts with the little guy and sends David A and then Brooke back to the couch. Davide H and Ramiele are left hanging for another 30 seconds before Ryan sends Ramiele back to the couch. David H is the first guy to be so “Bottom 3.”

After David’s song and a opportune commercial break, we send one of the losers, uh I mean contestants back to the couch and safety of another week of America’s love. Syesha can breath again, she’s safe. David and Kristy are left and Ryan hands David his walking papers.

So farewell fair David. Idol just wasn’t your thing. You once had dreams of being the King of Idol, unfortunately America just saw you as a Queen of Denial. Ah but fear not my young ‘mo, who knows, one day I bet you’ll be a best Cher impersonator this side of Lucky Changs.

Peace, Love and You Know What I Mean,

Kristi

Greetings Idol Fans!

Ooooooooo!! Did you see the new Idol logo? It so new and shiny!

Speaking of new and shiny, Ryan been hitting the tanning bed and obviously has been drinking some major happy juice. He’s quite tan and giddy tonight. He gives us a tour of the new stage and then the Top 12 make their big entrance.

Hey Jude, guess what tonight’s theme is… the Lennon/McCartney song book. In honor of this momentous occasion, Idol does a 2 minute reel on the dynamic song writing duo. Yep…. songs that have stood 40 years as major influences in music, and they get 2 whole minutes on a 2 hour music show. Wow. (insert sarcastic eye-roll here.) I actually just watched the movie “Across the Universe” so I am well versed in Beatles songs. So obviously I’m just a bit afraid of a karaoke “Helter Skelter” or “I am the Walrus” Goo Goo G’Joob.

Syesha does a very Vegas-y version of “Got To Get You Into My Life.” I wasn’t sure where she was taking the song at first… but then she evened it out and took it right past the All You Can Eat buffet at Caesars.

Chikezie used to work at LAX and got to screen Paula a few times. Bet he had to sign an NDA to keep quiet about all her meds. He covers “She’s A Woman” with a bluegrass arrangement that morphs into weird rock mash-up with screeches and heel kick-ups. It was a lot of fun. Who knew a boy from Inglewood had the country in him!?! Based on Ryan’s reaction and jolly antics around the stage, I think Seacrest might have a little man crush on the Chik dude. Stay tuned…

Ramiele works at a Sushi restaurant and chronically smells like soy sauce. Unfortunately, the usually saucy little one fell a little short (and I don’t mean her height.) She did a pretty dull version of “In My Life” and practically put the audience to sleep face first in their tempura.

Jason looks like he could be a character in that movie 10,000 B.C. with those dreads. Luckily his musical skills are much more advanced than that of his cro-magnon brethren. His “If I Fell” was groovy and melodic. His vocals aren’t are big as some of the other idols, but there’s a raw, earthy vibe to them that I think people will really dig.

Carly works her Irish vibe in again. Yeah we get it. Blarney, Guinness and potatoes. OK I’m over it. She just belted out an amazing cover of “Come Together” that was a little bit Beatles, little bit Heart and a whole lot of kick-ass. or should I said kick”arse?”

David C is looking a bit creepier every week. I think that’s because the Idol hair stylists are getting at him and they are not helping that receding hair line one bit. He does a ColdPlay/Fuel inspired cover of “Eleanor Rigby” wearing an A-HA/Corey Hart inspired jacket.

Brooke used to be a nanny and misses the kids… yeah, changing dirty diapers is SO much cooler than fame, fortune and a clothing allowance. She breaks down “Let It Be” into an amazingly pure performance that would even silence the crankiest of babies (Simon included.)

David H took a Beatles 101 class in college. How’s that for a Pass/Fall elective!?!? All I had was Astronomy and that sucked. He covers “Saw Her Standing There” with a cheesy goodness. Unfortunately, I think she be running the other way on this one. It was just bad karaoke.

Amanda is totally glammed out and looking rocker hot tonight. I just have one issue with her look (OK more than one, but I have to keep this blog relatively short) What is with her affection for stripes? Her hair’s striped, her pants are striped… either she thinks it’s really slimming or she wants to be a zebra in another life. Good thing she’s a singer in this lifetime because she’s rocking out Idol like never before. Her southern rock spin on “You Can’t Do That” blows the roof off the joint.

Michael coaches tennis. He says it’s for the money… but I think it’s so he can wear headbands and get away with it. He covers “Across The Universe” with a bit of a monotonous tone. He didn’t do much with performance so I can’t do much with my recap of it.

Kristy Lee again reminds us what a small town country girl she is. <Yawn> Her jeans went through a paper shredder. Didn’t they go out in the 90’s? I’ll tell you what else is out… her performance. She twang-afies “8 Days A Week” and left me a little disturbed. I’m all about the country thing, but did she have to pull out the washboards and moonshine jugs? That sounded like something the Hatfields would play really loud just to annoy the McCoys. Yee Haw.

David A doesn’t really know any Beatles songs. OK I don’t care how young you are, if you are a musician, you know the Beatles. Period. He does a high school rendition of the Stevie Wonder rendition of the Beatles song “We Can Work It Out.” Uh, wait a sec… I’m sorry, where are the words “Ma na nana la na” in this song? Yeah that’s right, he forgot his words. He might as well just dropped trow center stage. Has the little lovable hobbit fell from grace?

I’m not sure where Idol will take the results show… but if they bring back the “Bottom 3″ I’m guessing Syesha, David H and Kristy will take the dishonors. Tune in tomorrow night when we find out who’s taking “Abbey Road” to the Top 10 and who’s Idol dreams are so “Yesterday.”

Peace, Love and A Hard Days Night,
Kristi