Greetings Idol Fans!

Ryan starts the show with some riveting conversation with the judges. And by riveting I really mean comatose. Ryan makes fun of the weird TV antenna hand gesture Simon does. Everyone gets a chuckle and a shot from a defibrillator just to wake them back up.

Oh goodie…it’s Idol ensemble time!! OK I think even the producers knew how bad it was going to be. I think they actually kept forgetting to turn the mikes on when the little darlings had their one stanza solos. And to top it off then even cut them off early at the end of the song. Hilarious.

One of the guys will be the first to go tonight. Ryan goes through the rewind reel. Of course you don’t need it, because you read my blog. Anyway, lights are dimmed and Ryan makes the back row of Jason Y, Danny, Chikezie, Jason C and Michael stand up. My spidey-senses tell me the first guy at the end of the row near the steps is there for a reason. So Ryan pardons Michael, Chikezie and Jason and leaves Danny and Jason Y near the stairs to hear their fates. Sure enough the skunked striped Jason is the next to be cast back in anonymity.

After the break, the girls are sitting pretty on the couch. Ryan again goes through the rewind reel. And of course, again, you don’t need it, because you read my blog. Ryan pulls the same back row schtick with Kristy, Amanda, Alexandrea, Brooke and Asia’h. Kristy, Asia’h and Brooke are safe…uh DUH. So the 2 girls that I called to go are left standing, which means that I’m only going to be 1 for 2 on the girls tonight… dang it. Anyhoo, Alexandrea is the next to leave us. See, no one ever likes a Chicago song.

The girls are still on the couch, and it’s the front row’s turn at the guillotine. One by one, Carly, Remiele and Syesha are safe. This leaves Romy and Michele, er, I mean, Alaina and Kady to face the music. OMG I didn’t realize how interchangeable they were! Right down to the codfish personalities. Well American made up their mind and picked Alaina to go home. She bawls on national television, visibly shocked that for the first time in her life, she didn’t get what she wanted just by looking cute. Boo Hoo.  Her stage mom looked really miffed too.  I love it.

Idol News….. <insert typewriter sound here> Big news people!! Because the Top 12 will be the best Top 12 ever (because Ryan says so) on March 11, American Idol will reveal a brand new stage, new opening graphics and a new exit song by Idol’s own Reuben Studdard. Oh and Idol Gives Back is back on 4/9. It raised $79 million last year. Props to Idol for actually doing some good with it’s sensationalism. But it gets better. After 6 years of begging, Idol producers finally have the rights to the Beatles songbook. I find that a bit scary… do I really need to hear Danny Noriega butcher “Can’t Buy Me Love?”

OK, we’re running out of time people! We have no time for drawn-out pseudo anticipation! We need Luke and Robbie center-stage! Wham, Robbie’s going home. Guess other people in America never really believed the whole rocker thing either.

So that’s it people. Obscurity is a dish best served in plates of 4 and tonight we passed out 4 heaping steaming piles of it.

Next week 4 more go!

Peace, Love & Good Song Choice,
Kristi

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