Greetings Idol Fans!!

After a week of traveling about the country and a bout with bronchitis, I’m back to give the Idol kids hell. However, with the departure of Michael Johns last week, I may be too ecstatic to be mean. No wait, Kristy Lee Cook is still on…I think I got a little mean left in me.

OK so Idol got rid of the guest judges, but just can’t seem to let go of the whole mentor thing. I guess there are too many artists with albums and products to hock. Anyway, tonight’s mentor is none other than butterfly clad Mariah Carey. She’s finally fully recovered from her Glitter debacle and newly svelte, just in time to sell her new album, “E=MC2.”

On with the show!

David Archuleta

The short stack packed his little unassuming self into a pair of leather pants and covers “When You Believe.” OK, David wearing leather pants is about as natural as Simon wearing a turtleneck, Paula being sober and Randy not dropping names. The judges liked his performance but I just fell asleep and had nightmares about Bilbo Baggins in an S&M outfit.

Carly Smithson

Carly finally embraces her diva-dom with a purple frock cut “down to there” and comes out belting on “I Can’t Live.” The judges of course do the inevitable comparison. But dude, you made her sing a Mariah song. None-the-less, I think Idol can’t live with her another week.

Syesha Mercado

Looking like a gold lame siren on “Vanishing.” OK I knew the girl could sing, but where the heck did those pipes come from. That run in the middle went on for miles! The judges again compare her performance to Mariah. Hello? You made her sing Mariah. She didn’t have a choice.

Brooke White

Missed her sister’s wedding. She covers “Hero” in a singer/songwriter smokey lounge way. I kind of wish she’d left the piano back stage on this one. I think it got in the way of her vocals. The judges compare her performance to Mariah. (Anyone noticing a pattern?) But people, you made her sing Mariah!

Kristy Lee Cook

The annoying girl next door, does her best Nashville twang on “Forever” OMG, the judge actually don’t compare her to Mariah! Maybe because it was such bad karaoke that there really was no comparison. Paula rambles on about legacy and both kinds of music… country and western.

David Cook

He does the whole rocker cover of “Always Be My Baby”and makes it sound like a stalker theme song. Does anyone notice that he sort of sounds like that lead singer of Hootie & The Blowfish? Randy liked it because he gave him the first Randy Standing O of the season. Paula and Simon felt the love too. So much that it made the budding rockstar tear up. Well either that or the blood pressure meds are wreaking havoc on his hormones.

Jason Castro

The locked one finishes up the show with a beatnik/tribal fusion on “I Don’t Want To Cry.” It was original and definitely worthy of one of those off-brand compilations of smooth jazz CDs that you find at a street fairs. You know like “Muzak Presents: Smokey Jams.”

And the Top 7 have once again placed their fates in our hands. Don’t you just love redial? So which Idol will be America’s “Dream Lover” and who will say farewell “One Sweet Day?” Tune in tomorrow night and find out!!

Peace, Love & 5 Octives,
Kristi

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