I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20, so hurry up and bring your IDOL money!!!!!!!!!!!!

Greetings Idol Fans!

It’s 80’s weeks and the last chance for the Idol kids to make it to the big show… the Top 12. Like always the guys are up first to us down to Funkytown. As a special bonus, we get the guys most embarrassing moments.

Luke

His sister once dressed him up like a ballerina and took pictures. He was like 8 so there wasn’t too much traumatic damage. Although enough for him to think a Wham song was a good song choice. He falsetto’ed his way through “Wake Me Up” but George Michael he ain’t. Simon called it girlie.. which is just ironic since Cowell is the biggest sissy in heals this side of Le Cage.

David A

The adorable little phenom once forgot his lyrics during a concert and his Mom hopped up on stage and had to finish the song. Now THAT is a stage mom. I’m sensing a pattern with this kid. He’s all socially conscious and crap. Last week it was “Imagine,” this week it’s Phil Collins “Another Day in Paradise” and on the piano no less. Dude, wait until you have some fame before you start throwing it around to “gain awareness” for stuff. Just focus on the teeniebopper drones you need to vote for you each week and sing us a upbeat ditty, will ya, Sweetcheeks?

Danny

OMG, IDK how could our resident punk pixie have survived? He actually tripped up the stairs at the movies in front of his crush! ONHD! TMTH… ABCDEFG….. XYZ…. WTF!?!? Text talk people… very 21st century… get a text plan and a teenager that can show you how to use it. Danny found the perfect 80’s song for him in “Tainted Love” The song even worked for the the pouty pixie’s plastic members only jacket.

David H

David once completed an entire photo shoot with a big booger in his nose. Guess the budget did have enough for proof-shots. He goes chick song on us and breaks out the Celine Dion 90’s cover of the Pandora’s Box song “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.”

Michael

The Aussie was a Kangaroo Mascot in Australia and got his ass kicked but a bunch of rugby hooligans. Man do I wish I could have seen that! He does a decent cover of Simple Minds “Don’t You Forget About Me” but I don’t want to talk about the song this week. I would like to gripe about the blatant thievery on stage. Last week, Bono’s very essence was ripped from his be-goggled soul… the week before, he raised Jim Morrison from the dead. This week it was Michael Stipe… the guy steals everyone else’s stage moves!! Does the guy have his OWN stage persona or does he just have to keep ripping off the greats? If he pulls out the prancing Mic Jagger next week, I’m going ballistic.

David C

The resident rocker with the receding hairline sang “Sandman” in a talent competition as a kid and forgot the words. When he started playing the melody of “Hello” by Lionel Richie, I thought he lost his mind. But then… then he started banging on the guitar and rockin’ it out… and the song actually didn’t sound as p_ssy as it usually does on the lite FM stations.

Jason

The big blue eyed hacky sacker’s dreds once fell off in his hand while on a date. It’ just adds to his hippie street cred and makes him cuter to all the granola girls out there. Tree hugger chicks still dig him. He breaks into an innocent and unassuming rendition of the Leonard Cohen classic (made famous by Jeff Buckley) “Hallelujah.” But most Idol fans probably know it from Shrek… but I think a lot more will remember Jason’s version tonight.

Chikezie

He is most embarrassed about using the women’s bathroom in high school… not because he was a perv… just because he never read the sign on the door. He goes for the smooth 80’s gold soul with “All the Woman I Need.” He’s a smooth balladeer who personally I thinks looks like the kind of guy you just want to hang with. Hopefully he’ll hang around another week.

OK so which two guys aren’t heading to the Love Shack and the Kodak Theater with the rest of the Idol posse? I think Luke is definitely go-going after that Wham song. I think the Dawson’s Creek forehead, Luke Perry hairline, Orlando Bloom eye thing is wearing thin. Unfortunately, Danny Noriega is VoteForTheWorst’s poster-child and, because of that, we have to suffer through the “Sanjaya Effect.” Which means, although he probable should, Danny won’t go home and that leaves Chikezie to take the hit. I hope I’m wrong and America wakes up but heck, it took us weeks to get rid of Sanjaya last year.

Anyhoo, the girls are up tomorrow!

Peace, Love and Tin Roof Rusty!
Kristi

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