Greetings Idol Fans!

It’s Axe Time People!! Woo Hoo. Finally the chance to see all our speed dial training put to good use. I have to say, I’m very excited.

But first a cheesy reel that looks like a promo for Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, The Hills, Laguna Beach, blah blah blah. Is this a singing show or MTV teen crap?

Wait… OMG… could it be… I see Idols lining up… I hear an intro… I think it is… IT IS! IT IS!! It’s the first ensemble performance of the season!!! And Oh My God, is it terrible. Seriously it was like a clip from “When Six Flags Performances Attack.”

After the 4 minute commercial break to recover from the group performance, the guys are up first on the chopping block. We do the necessary rewind of the show highlights (although if Ryan read my blog, he wouldn’t need the reel)

Ryan makes it seem random, and calls Garrett Haley up on stage with him. He asks him a couple of questions and then WHAM!!! Axe falls. Garrett is leaving. He’s sings his song again. That was quick. No time for nice. There are commercials to be aired.

After the break it’s the ladies turn. Ryan chats with sweet little Kristy Lee Cook, but she can rest her sweet head, she’s safe. It’s Amy Davis who takes the first one for the girls. She performs her song again and proves why she’s going home.

Well, we’ve smashed the dreams of two young hopefuls so now is the perfect time to inflate the ego’s of a couple of old timers. It’s the debut of feature Randy. It’s got a beat, I can dance to it, I give it a 9. Well, I give the 10 synthesizers her vocals been filtered through a 9.

Amanda and Joanne are called to center-stage. Ryan says everyone on the couch is safe. We have to wait for the break to find out Joanne Borgella is the second lady leaving us tonight

One of the guys will be the last leaving the gang. Ryan calls Chicezie and Colton to center-stage. Ryan slips in an age dig at Simon before telling Colton that he’s the final Idol going home tonight.

So that’s week 1 and we’re down to 20. I’ve gotta throw props to the first 4 to go. That’s the toughest place to be. To get through all the crowds, fight the hundreds for attention during Hollywood week, make it up and down the elevator in one piece just to come back for one week before having your hopes dashed. The only consolation we can offer you, sweet Garrett, pretty Amy, stunning Joanne, bashful Colton… is that obscurity will come swift, painless and easy. Last one out, shut the lights off when you go.

Peace, Love and Video Debuts,
Kristi

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