Greetings Idol Fans!

Well we’re half way through the big show journey to our next American Idol. The Top 6 performed last night but only the Top 5 will survive. Ooooh, that sort of sounds like one of those wrestling cage matches. Dude, I would soooo pay to see David Archuleta catapulted from the stage by John Cena.

I have to admit, I like this starting the show with group number… it gets it out of the way. The kids do their ensemble number “All I Ask Of You” accompanied by the Lord Andrew, himself. Thankfully it lacked all the Busch Gardens show cheese, and just focused on the song.

So we recap the performances and then Ryan welcomes ALW to the stage for a little one-on-one interview time. They talk about the Brooke debacle and Jason’s most unusual song choice. He keeps it encouraging. The guy is gifted and gracious. See, Simon, Brits can be nice!

I’ve been tricked!!! I have come accustom to dreading the first commercial break but they slipped it in on me after the second break! Cheeky Idol producers. It’s Ford commercial time! The kids do a creepy cover of “Tainted Love” with scary makeup and freaky outfits. I think Brooke’s head is being swallowed by a renegade Dolly Parton wig.

And now a word from our leader. No not Nigel Lithgow… President and First Lady Bush! They bring up Idol Gives Back and want to donate 60-some million dollars. I assume he wants us to donate it… I doubt it would actually come from the oil companies.

Well we’re now down to point where I must retire the words, “Bottom 3.” But fear not my Blather followers, I now introduce for the first time this season… “BOTTOM 2.” Don’t worry, Merriam Webster’s has my adjective request for this one too.

On to the results!

Ryan calls David Cook and Archuleta to center stage. OMG, can they put muzzles on all the teenie boppers screaming like hormonal banshees. Yes, he’s little, yes he can sing, yes he’s a huge dork but CLAM IT! Once the pods of pre-pubescence calm down, Ryan wastes a few minutes and prolongs the suspense by asking the Davids a few questions. They ramble on…I wonder what I’m going to wear tomorrow…and then Ryan sends them to the safe couch.

Since this was a week of musical theater, we check in with some former Idols who have been on the Great White Way. Diana DeGarmo was in Hair Spray (she’s now at the 7 11 in Decatur) Fantasia was in The Color Purple (when she actually showed up,) Lakesha Jones is in it now, Tamyra Gray is in Rent (well just until September) and Clay Aiken is in Spamalot (yeah, uh, I’m rushing out for tickets on that one.) <Read sarcastic tone here>

It’s performance time. The guest tonight is evidently a creation of Simon’s. He toots his own horn about how she’s the biggest thing right now and how he discovered her and how ENORMOUS his ego is. It’s only when they introduce her that I realize who Leona Lewis is. She performs her hit single”Bleeding Love.” (Love that song!) The girl sounded amazing and wasn’t even lip synching! No wonder Simon is so proud. She’s so good they even giver her flames on stage. Wow, even Mariah didn’t get any pyro.

Back to the results.

Syesha and Brooke are next pair to come out on stage. Brooke looks down right certifiable. Ryan gets them to ramble on a bit. Brooke is safe. Syesha is our first “Bottom 2.”

After the break, Carly and Jason join Ryan on the stage. They ramble again. Ryan is really good at wasting time. I never realized it before, must be all the days spent waiting for his highlights to take. Oh anyway, Jason is safe and Carly rounds out our “Bottom 2.”

OK so I am TOTALLY not hearing what other people are hearing. I know someone who had a good night would have to end up here, but definitely not these two. It’s official… Jason is now my Sanjaya albatross.

The girls get to sing one more time and prove that America is obviously smoking a really bad crack. Carly sings and rocks the shroud off again on “Jesus Christ Superstar.” The girl undoubtedly has pipes. Syesha sings and even though she’s sassy, she almost feels resigned. I guess after being in the Bottom 3 almost every week, the girl just doesn’t know what to do make America love her. Not to worry too much Syesha, evidently you had enough love to last yet another week.

Carly, is leaving us tonight.

Huh, I don’t know what to say. We knew someone had to go but I’m not sure I was ready for Carly to go just yet. But alas… farewell Irish lass, farewell! You had the look, the pipes, and the Idol producers to get you on the show. Unfortunately, the 300 people who bought your album the first time, just couldn’t keep you on the show any longer.

We name our Top 4 next week!

Peace, Love & Show Tunes,
Kristi

Greetings Idol Fans!

Happy Earth Day everyone! Be kind, rewind… no wait… Recycle, Reuse. Yeah that’s it. Take care of Mother Earth, people!!!

On with the show…

In a twist tonight, the Idol band is on the stage..string section and all. Well after all, it is Andrew Lloyd Webber week. The musical genius Brit has been the driving force to bring some of Broadway most memorable shows and songs to life. Heck, we should have costumes and lighting arrangements and falling enormous chandeliers!
Syesha Mercado
The girl fro’d one starts the show with a sassy cover of “One Rock & Roll Too Many” from Starlight Express. Hey, where are the roller skates? She lights up the stage like a star showing loads of personality and tons of talent.
Jason Castro
OK so he’s in a suit, but forgot to iron it but he still remembered the white shoes. He attempts to work his magical mystical toker ways on “Memory.” All I can hope it that I will soon forget his performance. I’ve heard actual cats sing it better.

Brooke White
ALW made her practically cry during her session for “You Must Love Me.” She practically made me cry when she stopped her performance when she forgot her words. I give the gypsy girl props for trying such a strong and passionate song, but I think it was a bit to much for her.
David Archuleta
He perform one of my favorite songs,”Think Of Me” from one of my favorite shows of all time,Phantom of the Opera. He’s got a long way to impress me. He does a easy listening cover that the little elf obviously didn’t arrange himself. It’s good to be the ringer. He forgot the words, mumbled a few bars, but somehow managed to still gain the love of the judges(except Simon) and most definitely not mine.

Carly Smithson
She started with a ballad from Phantom and luckily ALW stepped in with “Jesus Christ Superstar.” Holy Hippie Bible Musical!! She’s blew the sandals of it. Props to ALW for probably saving her butt from the Bottom 3. Amen.

David Cook
OK this was a tricky one. He took on “Music of the Night” from Phantom. This is one of the best known and most beloved songs EVER to echo through the halls of Broadway, so to miss any one of the notes in this could be fatal. Luckily he passed on the rocker edge, and sang it pure and powerful. It was so good, I’m not even going to make fun of his hair.

And that’s the Top 6! Luckily for us and for Andrew Lloyd Webber, no one completely butchered his genius. So Idol Fans who will get to stand center-stage and who will be exiting stage left? Tune in tomorrow as we name our Top 5!!

Peace, Love & Music of the Night,

Kristi

Greetings Idol Fans!

It’s Axe Wednesday and Ryan and his pretty faux hawk are back to squash the dream of another Idol darling harder than Mariahs nuggets in a tube top.

We waste no time and launch right into the theme park segment of the show with the ensemble number. The kids give their best inspirational cheese on “One Sweet Day.” Everybody do the Mariah Gospel Hand!

Ryan goes through the Performances recap. Yeah we got that… we already ready my last recap… So let’s bring the kids out one by one.

Jason Castro – You have a thing for white shoes before Labor Day, that frankly I just don’t understand. Ryan sends you to the right but not to the safe couches…it’s more of an Idol purgatory.

David Cook - Ryan tries to get you talk about your brother who’s battling cancer and the reason you teared up last night, but you’ve already taken the course “How Not To Cry Even if Barbara Walters Interviews You For Celebrities” at Hollywood Community College. Thwarted, Ryan sends you to the left into yet another pod of Idol Purgatory.

Carly Smithson - You’re trying a new prep school matron look that I can respect. However the huge tatty sleeve you’re sporting just makes you look like a pin up in the Harley Davidson Naughty School Girl Calendar. You go stage left with Jason.

Kristy Lee Cook - You called Simon a butt. I think it’s the first thing that’s come out of your mouth that I actually enjoyed. Don’t let it happen again. Go join David on the left.

Oh I’ve been waiting for this for 30 minutes. It’s Ford Commercial time! The kids cover “I Want To Break Free” by Queen and do a very weird office cube puppet thing. Oh that is so 2000 people…uh, N’Sync did that their video for “Bye Bye Bye.” And uh, yes I know my N’Sync videos, I accept my boy band addiction!

Former Idol contestant from Season 5, Elliot Yamin takes the stage to perform “Free.” Who knew a tiny white guy could have that much soul. At the end of the performance, he raises his hand to show a handwritten “WE MISS YOU MOM” in honor of his mom who passed away earlier this month. It’s a good moment.

Back to the results,

Syesha Mercado – I don’t know what exactly is going on with your hair tonight. It’s half girl ‘fro, half limp Mohawk. Did Sanjaya mug you backstage? It gonna be alright now, you go join Jason and Carly on the right.

Brooke White – You start the waterworks if you lose an eyelash and don’t make a wish. Grab a Kleenex and join David and Kristy in the left group.

Back from the break, it’s time for the weekly “Suck the time and life right out of me Q/A” segment. I try to pay attention but all I hear is Kristy and a horse and if David Cook is single. Sounds perverted… almost makes me wish I paid attention… almost.

This week’s mentor takes stage next. Mariah enters the stage in a what I can only describe as a black lycra sausage casing. Seriously, not much more Mimi could actually fit into that dress! In fact it looks like girls are about to pop out of the sides. Whatever you do Mariah… don’t sneeze! She’s sings one of her new songs that sounds like she’s half singing half whisper rambling. It’s not a song, it’s a conversation to track beat. Buh Bye, Buh Bye, Buh Bye… Can’t you just sing that Christmas song? At least I know that has a real melody.

After the break, the stage is set like this… on the left we have David Cook, Kristy Lee Cook, and Brooke White. On the right we have Syesha Mercado, Carly Smithson and Jason Castro. Ryan calls David Archuleta to the stage.

David Archuleta - I wish you would tell me when Members Only Jacket came back in. You’ve got a week to let me know because you’re safe.

Ryan makes David Cook and Syesha switch groups and then he asks David Archuleta to stand with the group he thinks is safe. David sits in the middle of stage… I’m not sure if he’s just trying to be PC, or if that request was just too much for his little unassuming brain to process. Ryan gives him a few hints before just sending the group of David Cook, Jason and Carly to center-stage to pick the little gomer up. They’re all safe. Which means Syesha, Kristy and Brooke… you are so “Bottom 3.”

After the break, Ryan pardons Syesha and leaves Brooke and Kristy center-stage. The judges ramble a bit and then Ryan lets the Idol axe fall. And tonight… Kristy is leaving us. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! <insert funky elimination dance here> OK I know that’s mean, but if I wanted to spend my Tuesday nights listening to mediocre karaoke I’d go to Sing Sing Karaoke Bar in the East Village.

So fare-the-well, fair Kristy Lee. You lost your best horse and your dreams of stardom. You and the Idol Producers all thought this was your time to shine. Oh fair Kristy… let’s be honest , the two record labels that dropped your blonde ass can’t be wrong.

Peace, Love & Iron Clad Record Deals,

Kristi

Greetings Idol Fans!!

After a week of traveling about the country and a bout with bronchitis, I’m back to give the Idol kids hell. However, with the departure of Michael Johns last week, I may be too ecstatic to be mean. No wait, Kristy Lee Cook is still on…I think I got a little mean left in me.

OK so Idol got rid of the guest judges, but just can’t seem to let go of the whole mentor thing. I guess there are too many artists with albums and products to hock. Anyway, tonight’s mentor is none other than butterfly clad Mariah Carey. She’s finally fully recovered from her Glitter debacle and newly svelte, just in time to sell her new album, “E=MC2.”

On with the show!

David Archuleta

The short stack packed his little unassuming self into a pair of leather pants and covers “When You Believe.” OK, David wearing leather pants is about as natural as Simon wearing a turtleneck, Paula being sober and Randy not dropping names. The judges liked his performance but I just fell asleep and had nightmares about Bilbo Baggins in an S&M outfit.

Carly Smithson

Carly finally embraces her diva-dom with a purple frock cut “down to there” and comes out belting on “I Can’t Live.” The judges of course do the inevitable comparison. But dude, you made her sing a Mariah song. None-the-less, I think Idol can’t live with her another week.

Syesha Mercado

Looking like a gold lame siren on “Vanishing.” OK I knew the girl could sing, but where the heck did those pipes come from. That run in the middle went on for miles! The judges again compare her performance to Mariah. Hello? You made her sing Mariah. She didn’t have a choice.

Brooke White

Missed her sister’s wedding. She covers “Hero” in a singer/songwriter smokey lounge way. I kind of wish she’d left the piano back stage on this one. I think it got in the way of her vocals. The judges compare her performance to Mariah. (Anyone noticing a pattern?) But people, you made her sing Mariah!

Kristy Lee Cook

The annoying girl next door, does her best Nashville twang on “Forever” OMG, the judge actually don’t compare her to Mariah! Maybe because it was such bad karaoke that there really was no comparison. Paula rambles on about legacy and both kinds of music… country and western.

David Cook

He does the whole rocker cover of “Always Be My Baby”and makes it sound like a stalker theme song. Does anyone notice that he sort of sounds like that lead singer of Hootie & The Blowfish? Randy liked it because he gave him the first Randy Standing O of the season. Paula and Simon felt the love too. So much that it made the budding rockstar tear up. Well either that or the blood pressure meds are wreaking havoc on his hormones.

Jason Castro

The locked one finishes up the show with a beatnik/tribal fusion on “I Don’t Want To Cry.” It was original and definitely worthy of one of those off-brand compilations of smooth jazz CDs that you find at a street fairs. You know like “Muzak Presents: Smokey Jams.”

And the Top 7 have once again placed their fates in our hands. Don’t you just love redial? So which Idol will be America’s “Dream Lover” and who will say farewell “One Sweet Day?” Tune in tomorrow night and find out!!

Peace, Love & 5 Octives,
Kristi

Today on “Ellen,” Daughtry will perform “Home” with the African Childrens Choir. He’s on to promoto Idol Gives Back, and the “One” organization. Check it out, in your local listings.

According to Access Hollywood, Ellen Degeneres has backed out of hosting the the charity event, Idol Gives Back. Ellen supposedly had to back out due to production scheduling conflicts that would interfere with the show.

The show, scheduled to tape on Sunday, April 6th, will include celebrities Bono, Brad Pitt, Mariah Carey, Eli and Peyton Manning, Fergie, Annie Lennox, Heart, Robin Williams, Idol favorites Chris Daughtry and Carrie Underwood and many more.

You can read more of the story here or check out Idol Gives Back for more information.

Greeting Idol Fans!

I could go into a big long fancy, witty intro paragraph, but since Ryan wasted no time with intros, neither shall I.

So without further adieu, the kids launch right into the Group song. OH we all knew it was coming. we knew it weeks ago when they announced Dolly Parton was scheduled to appear. You hear it in your head… that lone piano note…

dum dum dum dum dumdum dum dum….EVERYBODY TOGETHER!

“WORKING 9 to 5! What a way to make a livin!”

Oh yeah, you know you’re singing along. I’m actually surprised they didn’t bust out a sappy version of “Islands In the Stream” But come to think of it… I think that was done a couple of season ago and with equally hokie results.
On with the results. Ryan recaps the performance. I still think we’re funnier here at IdolBlather. But that’s neither here nor there. Ryan then begins the cattle call.

Michael Johns – You’re the first to the stage in your snazzy Dolly t-shirt and the first to be safe.

David Archuletta – Little dude, America is taken by your garden gnome good looks and LiteFM vocal stylings. You’re safe again.

Carly Smithson- Simon hates your fashion sense but it seems like enough fans love your voice. You and your skin tight jeans can head over to the couch.

Well, I’m beginning to develop a fear the first commercial break of the show. Would it be Ad-aphobia? Commerciaphobia? Whatever it’s called, it always seems to bring the dreaded Q&A time on Idol. I tend to zone out here or get up to get a drink (even with DVR) so I luckily miss the banter crap.

So I’m rehydrated from my Snapple and it’s time for a musical interlude. The Clark Brothers won American Greatest Band. I have absolutely NO idea why. They were like a dreadful morph of Ricky Skaggs and Fuel. Who knew you could “rock out” on a Mandolin?

They say bad things happen in threes. OK so we had the Q&A crap… the Clark Brothers… so that only leaves the Ford Commercial. Yep there it is. Must.. fight… urge… to buy… an Edge…

Back to the results.

David Cook – you had some trouble with your BP, but seems like America’s heart still beats for you. You’re Safe.

Ramiele Mulabay – You sweet little lychee, you got excited because you actually walked and sang at the same time last night… stellar. There’s no singing tonight, but you are walking over to the Bottom 3.

Kristy Lee Cook – Oh my gawd are you psychic? It’s like you knew you were going to be heading to the bedpan stools. Kristy, you are soooooo Bottom 3. YAY!! I got to say it. All is right with the world again.

After the break, we take an unexplainable trip to Nashville. We catch up with some former Idol stars…Bucky….Phil Stacey and Bo. Ryan mentioned something about seeing them again soon but I have no idea why.

Syesha Mercado – Given that there’s still 2 Idols left back stage, your odds of safety are pretty good. And they are indeed.

Brooke White and Jason Castro are the last 2 and….. the last Idol Kid in the Bottom 3 is Jas—- BROOKE!?!!? OK I am soooo not hearing what the whackados that voting hear. She’s been the Idol sweetheart for weeks and now she get a low number of votes? Wow America turns so quickly.

Well we have like 10 minutes left of prime time ad space so we won’t rip the band-aid off just yet Ramiele, Kristy and Brooke. You sit back and wallow in your Bottom 3-ness while we take another video trip into Idol Gives Back.

After IGB (Yes, I actually gave it an acronym,) the one and only Dolly Parton takes the stage to sing her new song “Jesus and Gravity” from her album. I know she’s a living legend and all, but holy crap is this bad. I’m all about shooting props to the 60 year old still performing, but maybe she ought to stick to the stuff she knows and is known for.Ok so it’s the final axe time. Brooke is already a ball of sob and rambles on about pouring souls into the show, and Idol Gives Back and how Dolly sang about Jesus and wah wah wah. Cripes. Ryan mercifully send her back to the couch of safety before she too full of snot.

And finally, probably less out of mercy and more out of the fact they were running out of time, Ryan delivers the news quickly, that Ramiele will be the one leaving us tonight.

So goodbye Tiny Malubay. You showed us that a giant voice could come from a little package. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to capture a giant piece of America’s heart. Well that, and you weren’t an plant. So good luck Ramiele. I know you will indeed cross my and thousands of fans minds, if even for a brief moment, each time we pour soy sauce on our tempura.

Peace, Love & really big… Hits,
Kristi

Claudette Yamin, mother of American Idol Season 5 contestant, Elliott Yamin passed away overnight of undisclosed causes. She was 65.  Full Story at MSNBC.

IdolBlather send it’s condolences to Elliott and the Yamin family.

Several news agencies have confirmed that David Cook was sent to the hospital after last nights performance show of American Idol. Cook, who received rave reviews for his cover of Dolly Parton’s “Little Sparrow” was suffering from heart palpitations and high blood pressure before the show began. He chose not to seek treatment until after the show was finished. Idol insiders have speculated that the palpitations are simply a result of Idol stress and potentially some bad news David received about his brother who is battling cancer. He was later released and is now resting at the hotel with the rest of the Idol kids.

You can read more about it at E! Online.

IdolBlather wishes the rocker dude good health!!

Greetings Idol Fans!

Unfortunately due to copyright infringement issues, there will be no IdolBlather recap this week….
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APRIL FOOLS!!!!!  Hey if Ryan can do it why can’t I?? 

ON TO THE SHOW!

Tonight’s Idol mentor is Dolly Parton.  The buxom “Backwoods Barbie” gives the kids lots of encouragement and lifetime passes to Dollywood.  Yee Haw Everybody.
Brooke

Our resident folk girl sings”Jolene” about a girl begging another not to take her man.  It wasn’t the best, but I think it was enough for Brooke to keep the man and her fans. I just have one fashion comment for her… Please please please, eat a sandwich!  She looked so thin I think the buttons on her pants were hanging on to her hip bones for dear life!

David C

Ooo, they did his hair better this week!  I think there might be some extensions in there.  It actually looks thicker.  Speaking of thick, he lays the rocker thing on thick for his cover of”Little Sparrow” with acoustic guitar.  Who knew you could take the twang out of Dolly’s hillbilly best?  He rocked it yet again this week.  I think the new ‘do is helping his “IT” quotient.

Ramiele

The tiny little pixie doll  attempts “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind” and shows how completely out of her element she is with the Dolly classic.  She kept it country but unfortunately also kept it Karaoke.  Definitely not going to be crossing anyone’s mind in the votes. I think you can tell the pressure of keeping up with the semi-pros is taking it’s toll.

Jason

The Rasta boy has a stalker chick in Colorado who sends multiple postcards at once.  Sweet.  With his rendition of “Traveling  Man” he yet again reminds me of a hacky sacks, hemp beads and bong water.  But at least this week, he picks up the tempo and the performance.

Carly

Ye Irish Lass  covers “Here You Come Again”  sans the 80’s pop country back beat and place in LiteFM playlist history.  She slows it down to a soulful pace and proves why she had a record deal  in the first place. Oh that’s right,no wonder she sounds so pro… she already was. But I’m not bitter…:D

David A

The baby hobbit covers “Smokey Mountain Miracles.”  OK honestly, does kid know at least ONE up-tempo song?  He is so sappy that if you stuck a tube up his butt, you’d get Maple Syrup.

Kristy

Could she having stepped in it any more?  Country week with Dolly Parton… this girl should be thanking the Idol Gods… or Idol Idols?  Either way, the whole freakin’ song was in her lower register and completely lacked personality and then she suddenly shoves the ending up into her “Big Finish.” The whole thing totally felt disconnected.  She needs to find her shoes and go home to the horse farm.

Syesha

As the only representative of R&B she of course had to pick “I Will Always Love You” by Dolly come Whitney.   Did anyone else get annoyed with the “propped up on the piano, staring into the camera” incessantly crap?  She does her best and shows off her pipes, but unfortunately the comparison to the original might be too much to overcome.

Michael

Ok the dude is wearing an ascot… or in his case, could it be an as(s)cot?  Hee Hee.  He goes all Joe Cocker gospel on “It’s All Wrong, But It’s Alright” and made us all say Amen.  He can leave his hat on.. he’s getting through another week with that.

So that’s our Top 9.  So which Idols will America always love, and who will be saying goodbye to stardom and back to 9 to 5?

Tune in tomorrow to find out!

Peace, Love and Pickin’,
Kristi